Before I found Lindengate, life felt like being on a rollercoaster blindfolded. My mental health diagnoses include ADHD, C-PTSD, Schizoaffective Disorder, and OCD which make navigating many aspects of everyday life difficult and overwhelming. Due to multiple traumas I experienced as a child and an adult, I had recurring nightmares and flashbacks from which it felt like I couldn’t escape. For years I sat on NHS waiting lists and struggled to find the right support. I would mask my feelings as much as I could, trying to protect myself and others from the pain I was experiencing. Moving, breathing, living, everything took so much energy.

I tried different therapies and medication but nothing worked. This and trying to hold down a job became too much, the slightest thing would overwhelm me and I ended up in a cycle of taking sick leave, returning to work, and going on sick leave again. I couldn’t sleep at night, sleeping during the day and barely left the house – my wife would come home at lunch to check on me and make sure I was still alive. Eventually, it all became too much and I took an overdose, but I am grateful to still be here. I desperately needed professional help, and with the support of my family was determined to find it…

… When I mentioned my love of bees and nature to my psychiatrist, they told me about Lindengate’s Wellbeing Pathways Programme. I was interested and terrified at the same time but decided to contact them which was a huge step for me.

After contacting Lindengate I was invited to meet one of the staff for a walk around the gardens. I find meeting new people very challenging, so going somewhere completely unknown to meet someone I’ve never met was really worrying and overwhelming, but the staff made me feel so welcomed. They gave me a huge smile and chatted to me like a friend and I felt that anxious knot in my stomach start to ease immediately.  

Before my first session, I was worried that I had no gardening skills or knowledge– at the time I only had a few pots on a balcony as that’s all the outdoor space I had. The staff and other group members were so nice and welcoming, for that short time I had something to focus on and feel part of something.

After three years engaging with the Wellbeing Pathways Programme, I was invited to become a garden volunteer. I was nervous, but before I could over analyse it I found myself immediately saying “Yes!”.

I have been a part of so many of the projects on site and each time I see them, I am reminded of how – despite my challenges – I have accomplished so much here.

During my time at Lindengate, I have gone through intense EMDR trauma therapy. I wouldn’t have been able to manage going through that if I wasn’t part of Lindengate and able to go there between therapy sessions.

Every day life is still a rollercoaster and always will be with my mental health. I still experience ADHD masking, but now I am trying to unmask and allow myself to feel what I feel – I feel safe doing this at Lindengate.

I’m so grateful to have had the opportunity to be a part of Lindengate, from early days being a part of the groups to becoming a volunteer, it’s given me so much. Just being surrounded by nature and wildlife is so peaceful and inspiring. While every day is still a struggle for me, Lindengate continues to help me improve my mental health each time I’m there and for anyone who can relate I’d encourage them to visit as I can say from experience how amazing Lindengate truly is.

Mark, Wellbeing Pathways Attendee and now a Volunteer